5 Awesome Life Hacks Everyone Should Know

I've been writing about some intense subjects lately. Masturbation, gay rights, gun rights, racism...So I thought I'd lighten it up today with a classic list-style blog about something fun: Life hacks.

For those of you unaware of what a life hack is, I'll explain. A life hack is something that makes some activity or aspect in your life easier, healthier, cheaper or improves it in another way. Here we go:

6. Rubbing Alcohol And Coffee Filters
When you think of a way to quickly clean surfaces in the kitchen or the bathroom, usually you think of Clorox wipes. Which are awesome, but really expensive. Even the off brands are pricey. I've found a much cheaper way to clean: a $1 spray bottle filled with basic rubbing alcohol and a stack of coffee filters. It sounds insane, but hear me out. Alcohol is crazy cheap. It's not a harsh chemical mystery meat like what is in most of your kitchen and bathroom cleaners but is still a great disinfectant and will break down most anything you need to clean up. It evaporates away so your surfaces don't stay wet after cleaning and you also don't need to rinse with water after wiping down. Coffee filters are absorbent and cheap, and don't leave behind lint. This makes them ideal especially for windows and mirrors and any other surface too. When you're done you can toss them just like you would a Clorox wipe.

5. Safety Pin Your Socks
If you're a slob who is unconcerned with mismatched socks, skip to number four. I hope you enjoy your life as a complete Philistine. For those of you still here: Pairs and sets are kind of A Thing for me. If a set or a pair has one missing, it drives me nuts. When I sort my laundry I take the time to match the socks before washing so I know that when I fold my clothes everything should have a pair. Here's the hack: When you take your socks off, before throwing them in the laundry basket, take a safety pin and pin them together. A box of safety pins cost less than three bucks. The time you save hunting for the elusive pair when sorting or folding your clothes? Priceless.

4. DIY Frebreeze
Shout out to my friend Walter Watts for alerting me to this ingenious DIY/life hack. Has anyone else noticed how ridiculously expensive air freshener is? You know what's cheaper? Making your own. Purchase a spray bottle (the Dollar Store has 'em) and a bottle of liquid fabric softener in whatever scent floats your boat. Pour some of fabric softener in the spray bottle and fill the rest up with plain 'ol water. Voila! Your own Frebreeze that can also double as fabric freshener! Another plus about this hack is that you can make this as strong or as weak as you want. For people who are sensitive to smells and most air fresheners are too strong, this is a major plus. (It should be noted however, that if you make the solution too strong, it will leave residue, so beware.)

3. Liquid Water Enhancers
For those of you who "like the taste of water." Feel free to skip to number two. (Who LIKES the taste of water? You know what water tastes like? Nothing. So you like the taste of nothing. WTF?) For the other normal, red blooded people who are still here: Soda is awesome. It actually tastes like something, unlike it's annoying counterpart, water. However, soda, like everything else that tastes awesome, is also extremely bad for you. One health expert said drinking soda is basically like pouring acid on your bones. Any dentist can hand you some horrifying photos of what it does to your teeth. Also, it makes your ass fat. Diet soda is not your friend either. They've done studies that show diet soda in some ways is worse for you because of the chemical shit storm it contains. I'm not saying drop soda completely. I probably won't ever give up soda completely. But maybe drinking more water would be a solid idea. The powder packets of water flavoring were popular and they still have them, but they're messy, the powder gets everywhere, and after you use it you have the trash of the the packet to deal with. Liquid water enhancers are the improved version of the powder packets. Also, it's easier to make the flavor as weak or as strong as you'd like. By using these, I've increased my water consumption about 500 percent, and I can say I feel better when I drink more water. I lose weight and I'm not bloated.

2. 3 Dollar Car Wash
If you're one of those awful people who drive around with a year's worth of grime inside and outside your car, skip to number one. Also, note that I will never so much as set a toe inside your disgusting vehicle. For the rest of the productive members of society, I have some awesome news: Springfield has multiple places where you can wash your car for 3, 7, or 10 dollars. You can choose how much you want to spend. They also have free vacuums and trash cans so you can clean the inside of your car at your leisure. A basic car wash at somewhere like Mr. Hotshine is going to set you back over 25 bucks. I don't know about you, but I'm on a budget. However, being on a budget doesn't mean I don't like having a clean vehicle. 3 or 7 dollars is totally doable for me, when 25 dollars is usually a bit much to shell out to get a car cleaned. My fav place to go is the Blue Iguana Wash on Sunshine just off of Glenstone, but there are several throughout Springfield.

1. DIY Decor
If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a budget bitch. I make okay money, but not great. However, I like things to be pretty and I love decor. When you're decorating a new place or breathing life into an old one, it can get expensive real quick when you're relying on traditional stores for decor items. Even if you shop clearance, a big amount like 100 bucks is going to disappear quickly, on probably less than five items. But thanks to this newfangled invention called the internet, 100 dollars can redecorate your whole house or apartment. Simply Google "DIY Decor" and Sir Google will fetch for you a plethora of websites to browse through and find hundreds of ways to decorate your digs for a pittance or even for free. YouTube, Buzzfeed, Pinterest...they all are great resources for finding ways to decorate and enhance the space you live in for cheap.

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

An open letter to anti-gay Christians:

Dear Christian,

I'm not looking to change your mind or your opinion about homosexuality. To put it bluntly, I don't give two shits what you think. If you want to think being gay is a sin and punishable by eternal damnation, fine. That's no skin off my nose. I think you're wrong, but the opinion that you're wrong doesn't change my day to day life one bit. And I'm not looking to change your thought process by way of legislation.

Now, I ask you do the same for gay people.

You believe they're sinning and that they are sinful. Fine. Believe that. No one cares. But where you are doing damage is when you start looking to take these beliefs and force them down everyone else's throat via legislation. When you vote against gay marriage, when you support "Religious Freedom" laws like what are being proposed here in Missouri, you are taking your opinion and trying to force everyone else to live by that opinion.

Again, gay people are gross, they're going to hell, blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all before, so have all the gays, no one is unaware about what you think. I'm not going to try to change your opinion. But consider these questions:

Does gay people getting married change your life one bit? No. It doesn't affect your marriage or your home life. It doesn't affect your own ability to get married. It doesn't affect you anymore than divorcees getting remarried, which your bible is just as adamant is wrong. It doesn't affect you anymore than the five minute marriages that happen all the time in Vegas. In fact, a five minute marriage happened just now. Are you feeling woozy? Dizzy? Do you have an uncontrollable urge to go home and divorce your wife or your husband? No? Exactly. I'm not saying that you need to vote FOR gay marriage. Just stop voting against it. Would it kill you to simply leave that ballot box unchecked? To say, "I can't say anything nice about this, so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut." Here's the truth of the issue: Gay marriage is going to be a reality. Very soon, in all 50 states. The polls are inescapable. Minds are changing faster on this issue than they did over any other civil rights issue in history. By dragging out the fight, you're only painfully elongating being run over by a train.

Will your church have to marry gay couples? No. The Catholic church doesn't have to marry heterosexual couples that they don't think should get married (like divorcees, non-Catholics, etc.) but the Catholics aren't trying to push through legislation stating that NO ONE who has been divorced can ever get married. Or that non Catholics can't be married. Do you see the distinction? Have you religious belief. Go nuts. But that should be separate from taking that belief and cramming it down the throats of the general public.

Basically, this issue means nothing to you. It doesn't affect your day to day life at all. But it means everything to gay people. I get you don't like them. You think they're going to hell. But isn't eternal torture in an afterlife punishment enough for you? Why are you trying to make their lives here on earth hell? I believe the bible verse to quote here would be "Vengence is mine, saith the Lord."

You don't have to approve. You don't even have to stop having an opinion. Just stop trying to legislate your opinion like it's a fact. Here are some facts for you: In places where gay marriage is allowed, it has not had any disastrous consequences for those societies. And if you compare the countries that allow gay marriage with the countries that HAVE created the kind of anti-gay societies that you dream about, you'll notice a disturbing difference. All of the countries that allow gay marriage are distinctly first world. Almost all the countries that have enacted homophobic laws are either hell-hole third world countries (I'm looking at you, Uganda) or crazy theocratic states where even you, dear Christian, might lose your head because you are a Christian and not a Muslim.

A society that allows its citizens to be free and be who they are benefits everyone. You're allowed to be homophobic and I'm allowed to think you're an asshole and hope that at least one of your children is born gay and changes your mind. But neither of us should try and create a law that will force the other one to change.




Sincerely,

A Proud Straight Ally



P.S. A further side note to the Christians who say, "Oh, only God can judge. I don't hate gay people. I totally have gay friends." But simultaneously hold the belief that gays shouldn't get married and vote against it all the time in the privacy of the election booth...Fuck you. You are just as bad as the rabidly homophobic Christians. In fact you're worse. Because you'll hold hands with a gay person and then with that same hand go into the election booth and seek to deny them their most sought after right: to marry the person they love. At least the openly anti-gay Christians are honest about their homophobia. Grow a spine and choose a side.